Just Trying to find My Way

I am REALLY good at self pity!!!! I found out just how good I am at it this weekend.....which is actually really hard for me to admit. It continues to amaze me how one thought in my head can snowball into flat out self pity. I'm in a weird place in my life. I'm not in the little kid phase anymore where my kids need me for everything. They are 15 and 10 and can do most everything for themselves so I find that a lot of times I'm just hanging out waiting for the times they need rides, things at the store, or to go cheer them on at an event, which is what happened this weekend. Actually there were two things this weekend which is where the beginning of the pity party came in---there was this big women's event at church and for the first time in a long, long time I wasn't asked to help with anything. That was really hard for me because like most people I want to feel needed. But instead of enjoying the break and going to enjoy myself at the event I found myself on the

It was Sunday afternoon and I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor having myself a good cry. There was a day when I would have felt guilty about that. I'm the kind of girl who used to think that I had to carry the world on my shoulders. I had to, in the world's eyes, keep it all together. It had been a week of people just needing a part of me. Seemed like everyday someone "needed" help with something and normally it isn't a problem, but this particular day I had come to the end of myself.  It's the little things that seem to chip away at you and slowly tire you out. So, there I sat. I found myself remembering the verse in Psalms "Be still and know that I am God!" and next came remembering that one of the names of Jesus is Wonderful Counselor. That struck me that day because I needed to call out to Him and tell Him I was done struggling to keep all the plates spinning. I needed to let go, but letting go of control is not my strong point!! To a