Just Trying to find My Way

There are moments in our lives that can cut so deep we start to think it's who we are. That somehow that one moment defines who we are. But if we know Jesus and the price that was paid for our healing and freedom we can know "it" (whatever "it" might be for you) does not define who we are. That is why this is my favorite part of this story....I believe satan is at his best when he is able to keep us wrapped up in our pain and focused on the bad that has been done to us. He had me believing that just because I had remembered this horrible thing that had been done to me I didn't really have to deal with the consequences of it. I could just pick up and go on like normal. I remember when I was little and I would fall and skin a knee or an elbow the worst part of it was when my mom had to wipe it off before the band aid went on otherwise the wound would soon get infected and not heal. Emotional wounds are the same. I soon came to realize that I had a lot of unw...

This is a part of my story that I don't get to talk about much anymore. Maybe because I've worked all the way through it to a place of healing or maybe because I've been saving it for writing it out here where there just may be more healing, It's a hard story to tell, but one that may help someone else out there going through something similar. That's what I believe Jesus does with stories like mine...He uses it for good...nothing is wasted in His view! I pray you might be blessed...... It happened when I was 5 years old. My mom had taken my sister and I to the same babysitters house that we had been to for a long time. Everything was normal except that the babysitter's father in law was there to visit....he would be the man I would soon refer to as "the old man" for the rest of my life. To this day I don't remember his face, just that he sat by the big picture window in a big recliner and that he changed me for the rest of my life. No one knew, ...

It's not my anniversary. It's not a special occasion. It's just an ordinary day. So why am I writing about marriage? My husband has been gone on a trip for work for only two days and I'm realizing how much he does for me on a daily basis and how much I take him for granted. This man of mine had no idea what he was getting into when he married me 18+ years ago. We really didn't do so well the first 3 years and we both take responsibility for it. We ended the whole marriage and then God stepped in....I'll maybe write more about that someday....for now I can tell you this--I've learned that marriage is much less about me and more about what I can do for my sweet husband. I used to fight him every chance I got and yes, I still sometimes do because old habits die hard, but for the most part I try to back him up in all he does. Not gonna lie, sometimes it's really hard, but that's when I have to go back to what Jesus says...          " you must clot...

College...I loved it. It's where I finally started to find out who Shelly was. Interesting how that happens when you leave home. It was 4 years of also finding out who God really was too. He became alive, real, and my best friend!!! I found myself growing like I never had in my whole short life. I knew, at the time, that I would never doubt...never turn away...and never ever walk away from what I believed!!!! The last week of my senior year the Dean of Students gathered up all of us seniors and gave a talk that at the time really rubbed me the wrong way. He talked about how we had been blessed being able to attend a christian college, but he was very blunt about how it was a stark difference to "the real world". He said that a percentage of us (that I now can't remember, but know it was high) would, in fact, walk away from Jesus because of what this world could throw at you. He talked about the importance of making sure your roots went down really deep so that this wo...