Marriage..the highs, the lows, & the in bet-weens!!!

It's not my anniversary. It's not a special occasion. It's just an ordinary day. So why am I writing about marriage? My husband has been gone on a trip for work for only two days and I'm realizing how much he does for me on a daily basis and how much I take him for granted. This man of mine had no idea what he was getting into when he married me 18+ years ago. We really didn't do so well the first 3 years and we both take responsibility for it. We ended the whole marriage and then God stepped in....I'll maybe write more about that someday....for now I can tell you this--I've learned that marriage is much less about me and more about what I can do for my sweet husband. I used to fight him every chance I got and yes, I still sometimes do because old habits die hard, but for the most part I try to back him up in all he does. Not gonna lie, sometimes it's really hard, but that's when I have to go back to what Jesus says...
   
     "you must cloth yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."   Colossians 3:12-13

 I have found that marriage is largely about selfishness and selflessness. I have also found that "love" as the world sees it is not a feeling, it's an action. I used to get stuck at the beginning of our marriage on the "warm fuzzies" and the lack of them as time went on. Now I can see that was wasted energy. I have found that the more I work to show my husband love the deeper the love grows and it's so much more than a feeling. It's knowing...that I know...that I know that I'm the only one for him and he's the only one for me. I love knowing that!!!

All of this to say....it's a lot of work! But, just like my dad used to say "the best things in life are the ones you have to work the hardest for"!!! It's also why marriage is for life. It takes years and years of doing life together during the highs, lows, and especially the int-weens. The ordinary days of work, dishes, laundry, and raising these boys. That's how we grow. And we need to keep growing--together and not apart. Why? Because someday, Lord willing, when we're both wrinkly, grey, and really old I want to sit in rocking chairs on a porch and remember everything in this life that we did together. The highs, the lows, and the in bet-weens. I want to know that I worked really hard for one of the best things in life and I want to call it fan-smash-tic!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Then & Now....

College...I loved it. It's where I finally started to find out who Shelly was. Interesting how that happens when you leave home. It was 4 years of also finding out who God really was too. He became alive, real, and my best friend!!! I found myself growing like I never had in my whole short life. I knew, at the time, that I would never doubt...never turn away...and never ever walk away from what I believed!!!! The last week of my senior year the Dean of Students gathered up all of us seniors and gave a talk that at the time really rubbed me the wrong way. He talked about how we had been blessed being able to attend a christian college, but he was very blunt about how it was a stark difference to "the real world". He said that a percentage of us (that I now can't remember, but know it was high) would, in fact, walk away from Jesus because of what this world could throw at you. He talked about the importance of making sure your roots went down really deep so that this wo
Read more

I'm allergic to change....

Christmas Eve and I have to be honest, I woke up this morning and before I knew it I was having myself a much needed good cry. This year has been one of some big changes and for as long as I can remember I have not dealt well with change. I'm a creature of habit and a master of having a plan. I like things the same as they've always been and it sends my insides into a "tizzy" when they aren't. And now it's Christmas and it's making these changes all that much bigger.... The number one thing that is so different today is this past June my one and only baby sister moved to Texas with her family because of her husband's job. They won't be home for Christmas. Part of me feels like I should be used to this because we've lived so far from my husband's family in California for so long. I think we've been able to spend one Christmas with them in the past 20 years. It's hard. But then maybe that's partly why I'm having such a hard
Read more

Thankful For Persistence

I was just reading through my last post about my trip to Nicaragua and how Jesus had begun to speak to my heart about softening the rough edges and I realized that it has taken no time at all for me to fall back into old habits...no time at all. Since writing last-- school has started, which means the "schedule" is back! The schedule of making sure the boys are getting what they need when they need it, that they are where they need to be when they need to be there, that the homework is getting done, that dinners are thought about ahead of time so that the groceries can be bought, that the dirty laundry pile doesn't take over the stairway going to the basement, that I can see my husband at least one meal a day because of his busy schedule and that I keep up with things at my own job. Just to name a few!!! In all of the madness I caught myself having a very large, very ugly pity party this week.... Call it a test or bad luck or just plain life, but the past three weeks
Read more