Then & Now....

College...I loved it. It's where I finally started to find out who Shelly was. Interesting how that happens when you leave home. It was 4 years of also finding out who God really was too. He became alive, real, and my best friend!!! I found myself growing like I never had in my whole short life. I knew, at the time, that I would never doubt...never turn away...and never ever walk away from what I believed!!!! The last week of my senior year the Dean of Students gathered up all of us seniors and gave a talk that at the time really rubbed me the wrong way. He talked about how we had been blessed being able to attend a christian college, but he was very blunt about how it was a stark difference to "the real world". He said that a percentage of us (that I now can't remember, but know it was high) would, in fact, walk away from Jesus because of what this world could throw at you. He talked about the importance of making sure your roots went down really deep so that this world couldn't steal you away. At the time I felt like that wouldn't be a problem. That's exactly what I had been doing for 4 years, putting my roots down deep. I was ready for whatever would come my way.....

Wrong!! This world gets harder and harder to live in because it's slowly taking Jesus out of it. The more "stuff" happens, the more cynicism can grow. The wind can blow hard, so hard it can leave you flat on your back trying to catch your next breath, just like when you used to fall off the swing set or out of a tree when you were a kid and had the wind knocked out of you, it can scare you so much that the belief you were so sure of ever so slightly has it's roots pulled up. Pretty soon some years have passed and you realize there is much anger and cynicism where faith and peace used to be. How did I get here...that's what I asked myself? When did I lose my simple faith that I was so sure of? Most importantly, how could I find it again???

Here's the cool part about my Jesus....He never went anywhere!! He didn't 'make' any of the bad circumstances happen to me and He never changed!!! I did. I slowly took my eyes off the truth. I slowly let this world make me see Jesus through it's eyes instead of me seeing this world through His. A few years back Jesus started untwisting my brain and I've realized again His goodness, His promises, and His faithfulness. How do I know I won't lose my way again?? Honestly, I don't. But I do know that He will bring the people and the circumstances my way that will bring me back to Him - IF I LET HIM - it's my stubbornness and pride that really keeps me from Him and He is working everyday to help me surrender. More and more I realize that this life isn't about me. It's all about Him!!