Fish Hooks
This journey of dusting off the shelves at times gets painful.....
When I was young my dad used to fish a lot. I remember going with him a few times and I remember when we would catch one sometimes the hook was easy to get out, sometimes it was stuck a little deeper and my dad would need a pliers to work it out, and sometimes the fish would swallow it so we had to just cut the string and it stayed with the fish.
There are things in my life (not very good things) that have been thrown my way that like a fish hook have made me a person I don't like to look at in the mirror because I swallowed it and let it become a part of me that Jesus never intended. So far in this journey I have written about the things on my dusty shelves like doubt and anger, but this week I was confronted with the ways I have chosen to deal with those emotions (in not good ways) and how those ways are expressed to others that I was completely oblivious to. I am slowly realizing that I have allowed the hurtful things--the fish hooks-- of this life to fester and make me a largely non trusting, non loving, and cynical person. Which then makes me not all that great to be around and sometimes hard to approach. I react to situations negatively rather than choosing to respond as positively as possible for the situation. There's a big difference. My unhealthy coping skills have made me emotionally unable to even let in the good. The fish hooks are stuck deep and are festering yuck!
So this morning I find myself sitting on my couch with a choice....I can sit here and feel sorry for myself and give into the guilt that satan is throwing in my face. Which believe me--I have! Or, I can choose to believe the Truth.
"And I am certain that God who began the good work within you will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ returns!" Philippians 1:6
"The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they might have life and have it to the full!" John 10:10
I want to choose to let Jesus heal the fish hooks that infused themselves into who I have become. Even though it's going to hurt a bit....like how it feels to have someone tell you hard truths about yourself. And it may take time...more time than I may be willing to have patience for. But like it says in Philippians, He's working on me until the day He comes back to take me home. Healing is happening. I need to choose to believe that it is. ---------One other thing that just came to my mind while I was thinking of this process....there will be people who have seen my ugly and they aren't going to want to forget it. That will be hard for me because that translates in my people pleasing mind that I should just give up because people "won't let me change".
This too I have to give to Jesus and let Him take it...only in Him is grace, mercy, and healing.
And He promises He will.
To Be Continued.......................
When I was young my dad used to fish a lot. I remember going with him a few times and I remember when we would catch one sometimes the hook was easy to get out, sometimes it was stuck a little deeper and my dad would need a pliers to work it out, and sometimes the fish would swallow it so we had to just cut the string and it stayed with the fish.
There are things in my life (not very good things) that have been thrown my way that like a fish hook have made me a person I don't like to look at in the mirror because I swallowed it and let it become a part of me that Jesus never intended. So far in this journey I have written about the things on my dusty shelves like doubt and anger, but this week I was confronted with the ways I have chosen to deal with those emotions (in not good ways) and how those ways are expressed to others that I was completely oblivious to. I am slowly realizing that I have allowed the hurtful things--the fish hooks-- of this life to fester and make me a largely non trusting, non loving, and cynical person. Which then makes me not all that great to be around and sometimes hard to approach. I react to situations negatively rather than choosing to respond as positively as possible for the situation. There's a big difference. My unhealthy coping skills have made me emotionally unable to even let in the good. The fish hooks are stuck deep and are festering yuck!
So this morning I find myself sitting on my couch with a choice....I can sit here and feel sorry for myself and give into the guilt that satan is throwing in my face. Which believe me--I have! Or, I can choose to believe the Truth.
"And I am certain that God who began the good work within you will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ returns!" Philippians 1:6
"The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they might have life and have it to the full!" John 10:10
I want to choose to let Jesus heal the fish hooks that infused themselves into who I have become. Even though it's going to hurt a bit....like how it feels to have someone tell you hard truths about yourself. And it may take time...more time than I may be willing to have patience for. But like it says in Philippians, He's working on me until the day He comes back to take me home. Healing is happening. I need to choose to believe that it is. ---------One other thing that just came to my mind while I was thinking of this process....there will be people who have seen my ugly and they aren't going to want to forget it. That will be hard for me because that translates in my people pleasing mind that I should just give up because people "won't let me change".
This too I have to give to Jesus and let Him take it...only in Him is grace, mercy, and healing.
And He promises He will.
To Be Continued.......................
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